It really wasn’t what I was planning to peck out at the keyboard today, the title: I Broke Something Precious. I mean seriously, who wants to tell something not-so-wonder-filled about themselves? I’d rather type something totally unrelated to a shortcoming of my own. Today as I sat down to type and started typing about something else, this porcelain bird perched atop this white bell that sits on my desk every single day, was like it had a spotlight on it. No matter how many keys I touched on the other post, I kept being drawn to the bird on the bell. So, I finally changed direction to the seemingly highlighted bird bell.
Well, let me start at the very beginning of the story. I found the porcelain bell at a thrift store and when I saw it, it reminded me of a porcelain piece that my youngest daughter, Victoria Leigh, had in her room. Well, she did have it in her room. It was a gift from our dear neighbor, Jeanelle. Jeanelle was a wonderful neighbor, and friend, of ours while we lived in the historic district of Gastonia, North Carolina. Jeanelle and Victoria had a special friendship. Jeanelle was born and raised in the white house that she lived in when we met her, and she was on into her sunset years of life at that time. Jeanelle was the first neighbor we met when we moved to Gastonia, and she was the very definition of a hospitable southern lady. There is a lump in my throat, and tears are brimming as I write. I don’t remember the specifics of when Victoria came home from Jeanelle’s with this gift. The gift was a lovely porcelain music box with blue flowers and a porcelain bird perched atop.
It was.
The tears that were brimming, are now flowing, as there is no ounce of delight in what I did. Oh, to go back and change a day, this one would be one I’d change in a heartbeat. But, I can’t change it. I cannot go back in time. I live with the porcelain bird perched atop a bell to remind me.
It was during the formative pre-teen years when I decided one day to battle with Victoria about how she kept her room. I was, and am, a neat nick. Victoria, was a creative, not-so-neat-nick. Every week, she would clean her room, and no joke, within approximately ten minutes, it could look like her closet had thrown up. If she kept her door closed, I did better. She was not a bad youngster at all, she just kept her room in a way different than I would keep mine. It was a battle that I was not winning and, she was a good child, so, why, oh why I did what I did, I do not know.
I do remember exactly what I did. I came in to her room and whatever discussion we had led to me checking a drawer that I’m guessing, she was to have cleaned out. Sad part is, once again, I don’t even remember the details. Weekly her job was to dust and vacuum her room. Know that now, my shoulders are leaned over as I cry closer to the screen. My actions of the day still get me and cause me to shake my head in wonder.
Well, I poured out the contents of the said drawer that did not meet my expectations. The drawer was full of the wonders of childhood. You know, the trinkets and treasures that meant something to a compassionate child that couldn’t bear to get rid of one single thing. They probably would not have had large price tags in the economy; but according to her heart, they meant something special.
But I poured every single thing in her drawer out, and as I did, I broke the porcelain music box that Jeanelle had given her. Immediately, I felt bad. Yes, it was just a thing; but it was a special *thing* from a very special person, and I’d just broken it. Not only broken it; but broken it beyond repair. Gorilla glue was not going to fix the mess I’d made. No apology that came from my lips could repair the damage.
I broke something precious to my child.
Fast forward to years later, and a random day at a thrift store, and I see this white porcelain bird perched on a white bell and it took me back to the day in Victoria’s room when I’d broken her music box from Jeanelle. The bird that was perched atop reminded me of the one that was atop her music box. So, I paid for the not-really-a-replacement-but-I-saw-it-and-was-filled-with-regret-again bird bell and brought it home and explained to Victoria why I’d bought it. Very kindly she let me know that the bell did not interest her.
So, the porcelain bird, perched atop a bell, sits on my desk in my Jesus Room.
The bell, according to the stamp on the interior, was from The Tapestry Collection, made for Avon in 1981. The tapestry of my life is not all my favorite color, white. I have failed so many times, like I did the day I broke Victoria’s music box from Jeanelle. The tapestry of my life is made unique by the fabric choices I’ve sewn into my actions. I think more about asking questions these days instead of acting impetuously. I think more about self control.
This Holy Spirit Dove bell, as I’ve come to call it, since I renamed it, is a blessed piece to me. I am so thankful that The Lord can redeem and use anything He wants to teach us lessons. This Dove is a reminder to me of so many important points in life that become the tapestry of my life:
Lora, let all that you do, be done in love.
Lora, be gentle and kind,
All the time.
Lora, think before you act and speak,
Never intend to leave others feeling bad, or weak.
Lora, hold your temper,
Don’t whine or whimper,
Just hold my temper.
May I learn to practice self control
If I had that day, the music box would be whole.
Lora, practice self control.
And be filled with the Holy Spirit,
Take a moment to pause, and you will hear it,
Be filled, Lora, with the Holy Spirit.
And be filled with the Holy Spirit,
Take a moment to pause, and you will hear it,
Be filled, Lora, with the Holy Spirit.
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,” James 1:19 NIV
Hallelujah!
