I will always remember the first time I ever thought that time seemed to stand still. It was immediately following when my first born said, “I love you, Mommy.” I don’t remember the exact day; but I will never forget the precious words tumbling out for the first time from her tiny toddler lips. I do remember the feeling that time was standing still and it didn’t matter to me that I had biscuits in the oven. I just sat and relished her sweet words and let them soak into my spirit. I am certain that the poet in me wrote a piece called “Somedays the Biscuits will Burn” because they did burn; but, for a brief period of time, I was so blessed by her first verbal expression of love to me.
You know, up until the Safer-At-Home directive, I don’t know that I’d experienced that same time standing still feeling outside the experience I just shared because I go at a fast pace most of my life. I love people, and I enjoy going, doing, having a full to-do list and thrive on tackling a project and moving on to the next. My personality type does not like to sit still.
During this current time, time seems to have stood still for a very long time. For the first month, I used the white out tape on my calendar so much that it looked like the start of an art project with all the tape layers becoming texture as applied over appointments and meetings and gatherings. Then when I turned the page to April, there was not as much to white out. The norm kind of became time standing still. The pace and the days slower, longer, and more leisurely.
The Salesman saw a flyer in our mail from a neighbor offering to do porch pictures, and he said that we should do them. The same man that had smiled in only one picture when the entire Osburn family gathered for family pictures about 20 years ago, suggested we have our pictures taken on the porch. The last time we’d had our picture taken on our porch was five years ago when our real estate agent took our picture on our front porch with us holding the sold real estate sign in our hands. So, I thought we needed to be holding something in our hands for our new porch picture. So when I went to get my favorite white hydrangea wreaths to hang on the doors for the picture session, I knew I was going to grab my grandparents clock and I thought we could hold it signifying these pictures were taken during the time that Time Seemed To Stand Still. Then, while I was getting the wreaths, I saw this large cardboard donut Victoria Leigh had made that I used for my dear friend Lisa’s donut-themed birthday party. I thought since The Salesman liked donuts, he could hold the sign and I could hold up three fingers and we could do a funny shot showing we had been in the house for 30 days. I brought down a couple other of my party loving props and had it all planned out in my mind. However, as I was putting my pumps on as heading out to the porch, I handed The Salesman the mantel clock, and communicating my thoughts, he quickly said, “I don’t want to do all that” and set the clock down. Well, there went my well laid out plans to have a picture with props… Party Mama took a deep breath and clicked my pumps and followed his lead because I did not want to ruin this picture taking adventure that he had instigated. I can hardly wait to see the pictures because he laughed and even smiled for pictures.
The only thing we held in our hands, was each others hand.
So, I sit and look at this stack of props on my dining room table and I think this sums up this season for me. All the parties, and things I’d had planned, got laid aside while Time Seemed to Stand Still. This season has really been a challenge for me, don’t get me wrong, I have so much to be thankful for at this time. But, I want you to know as a people loving, hugging, social and activity fueled mama, being home was not what I wanted. I feel full freedom to be honest. I wanted the appointments, the lunches, the errands, the picking *this* up for The Salesman, the delivering of *that* to a client, the walks with my gym friends, the lunch dates, the community of women that gathers here every week for Bible study, the knowing I’d call my aunt at the exact same time every Sunday as I drove to church verses hearing her say, “I was beginning to think you might be sick today when you didn’t call at our regular time” to my response of “I’ve not even sure what time it is today – oh, yes, 3pm, well good morning, or afternoon.’ This time was not what I’d planned. I am a planner. I am a party planner. I think my love for celebrating people and occasions came from being the recipient of my mother’s love of celebrating people and holidays for as long as I can remember. She made every holiday special. I will never forget on Valentines Day opening a bag to find my sandwich had been cut out with a heart shaped cookie cutter. Or the Easter we made our baskets out of dough and then painted them. Or waking on St. Patrick’s Day and finding a beautifully wrapped box on my nightstand with a pair of earrings inside. I smile as I remember the memories my mother made for me, for our family. Sweet memories of celebrations are knit into the very fiber of my being. And, I in turn, love to see people smile and celebrate with them. Life is hard and we all have work to do; but, one joy I truly have is celebrating people.
Last night as I worked to complete a dessert for a friend that I was going to deliver via social distancing rules, I thought of the joy of celebrations in the past that included that big ‘ole cardboard donut and I remember the smiles I hold in my heart as the props lay here on the table. In this season, I have laid aside some of the very things that bring me joy because I have had to – Time Has Stood Still. I am ever mindful of this season of pause; but, I am also filled with hope that life and work and celebrations will start again.
The pause button in not paused forever. Hallelujah!
There are seasons and times and as Bob Kauffman would say, “Everything changes.” Yes Bob, you are right, everything changes. However, I want to hold on to some things from this season! What? Are you shocked that this social butterfly wants to hold on to some part of the When Time Seemed To Stand Still season? Yes, I do!
When the play button is pushed again, I want to:
Amend my pace
I want to continue to spend time in the Word and pray with more of a vacation mindset like I’ve experienced in the pause. Now I realize that real responsibilities are going to resume, and people, we are going to have more to do than scroll our social media feeds in our pajamas; but, I am also very aware that I make time for exactly what I want to accomplish each day. I want to take a beach chair on the seashore approach to the truly important time of being in the Word and I want to continue to approach praying around my home like a walk on the beach.
Be mindful of others
I have been so blessed by others texting, calling, checking in, dropping goodies by my mailbox, back porch, courtyard. Encouragement has come in so many new and wonderful ways. It has been a time of increasing bonds of community. I want to do for others in the same kind and caring and neighborly approach.
Celebrate everyday
Everyday is truly a gift. And though I do celebrations BIG, I want to give thanks daily for where I am and for the opportunities that are before me right where I am now. This time of pause has been a platform for formally starting a writing class specifically for writing my book and I have a guideline that is going to propel me to completing it this year! WooHoo! I have had opportunity to speak and share in new ways thanks to this time of being at home – I shared at chapel with my a precious group of students from Hidden Treasure Chapel through a Zoom meeting that was one of the best chapel times ever! I have also done my first, hilarious; but, very real and raw live video, too. The Lord is growing my confidence in sharing the oils that have so helped me and I’m stepping out into the new waters of being a Trim Healthy Mama affiliate. I would not have dreamed this season of pause; but, The Lord is using it to start some new opportunities. Hallelujah.
Don’t Forget
I remember my dad’s life being marked by the depression and even in his later years, his life was deeply impacted by living through that time of his life. For my dad, and many others, Time Seemed to Stand Still. I do not compare this time to anything like what our fathers and forefathers have gone through; but, on the level we experienced this season, I don’t want to exit it and have not learned from this time. I want to remember what it was like to go at a slower pace, to think of others who had to go out while I got to stay in, to celebrate every day as the gift that it truly is and remember what The Lord has done in my heart and life at this time at home.
In conclusion, I can say, I am truly thankful for this time when Time Seemed to Stand Still. Truly thankful because I believe that very first verse I memorized as a young lady, Romans 8:28:
“And we know that all things work together for good, to those who love God and to those who are called according to His purpose.”
I have firsthand seen The Lord work this time together for my good, and for His purpose. In the end, the only things that will stand, are His purposes.
So, do what You want, Lord.
Your will reigns today, and always.
Help me to always be on board, on plan
Because in the end, only Your Kingdom purposes stand.
You can use times of staying still
To accomplish Your Eternal Will.
And in the mean time, You Father, cause my heart to thrill
Thank You for using this season when Time Seemed to Stand Still.
Amen. And amen.
