I can remember the words she spoke that day as if it were as clear as this morning. We were sitting in the living room on the long tufted back couch that used to be my mom’s, just Victoria Leigh and me. As Victoria started to speak, I turned to my head to the right to fully see her, and I heard the words that still seem to hang in the air here today:
“Mom, I still plan to go to law school; but I’d like to spend the next five to seven years traveling to foreign countries and teaching English.”
I have tears flowing freely as I write those words again. And as clearly as I can remember her words, I also remember there was one tear that slipped down her porcelain cheek. Victoria has just spent a two week holiday at home and has returned to China where she has been teaching English for the past seven months. Last night as I was just cozying down for the night, I got a face time call from her, and all desire to sleep left as she stood on The Great Wall of China and shared her experience with me. Her face was so full of adventure with the sun was shining down brightly on her as she gave a happy report of all we were seeing at the Great Wall. It was amazing. The sight was both beautiful and breath-taking. Never in all my years had I ever imagined my darlin’ baby would be standing on The Great Wall. Let me just say that no matter how old she is, she will always be my baby (and my oldest will always be Baby Girl). Yes, they are both confident, independent young women.
And that is where I want to start today.
I realize that when Victoria Leigh shared her dreams and adventurous heart with me, she was already out doing life on her own. She chose to share her thoughts with me – thoughts that I would have never dreamed of myself in my early twenties: to go out to foreign lands to travel and teach.
Her goals and dreams were beyond my scope.
Back to the day on the long, tufted back sofa and Victoria sharing her dreams about traveling and teaching, I remember many thoughts going through my mind. I really do try to think before speaking. (Just for the record, it does not always go that way.) Sometimes I allow words to tumble out that I later wish I could capture and put back in. Anyone else ever have that happen? So, as we sat on the tufted back sofa that has held and heard many conversations over its long lifespan, I thought all the typical mom thoughts about MY BABY; but as clear as I saw her and heard her words in the atmosphere, I heard three words in my heart. No, I didn’t hear them spoken out loud like the conversation we were having; but I heard them gently and softly in my spirit and my heart. Now, I don’t know if you have a relationship with the Holy Spirit; but I believe it was who spoke to my heart that day. When it comes to my own conscious, I believe the Holy Spirit is the voice I hear. And this is what I heard:
“Just release her.”
In my mind’s eye, I could see my hands upturned and outstretched:
“Just release her.”
My hands were not clasped or reaching for my baby:
“Just release her.”
As Victoria expressed her heart, the tear fell. Expressing your heart is truly a beautiful event. I am so honored that Victoria shared her dreams with me. And seven months into her first traveling and teaching adventure, I am glad that all my mom fears didn’t get spoken or in the way. She is living an amazing adventure today. She has gone beyond where I was at twenty four. She is going to be going to other places too!
So to think that just last week we sat on that long, tufted back sofa passed down from my dear mama is such a blessing. But then, seemingly in a blink, the holiday was over and back to China she went.
“Just release her.”
So, I’ve been releasing Victoria again, and I’ve been giving more thought to releasing in general. What else is there in my life that needs releasing?
Burdens
Struggles
Situations beyond my control
People
Thoughts
Plans
Relationships
Maybe you have *things* that need releasing in your life too. I know, here on the brink of my baby just going back to China, I am hearing that word again:
Release
I am not hearing cut off.
I am not hearing abandon.
I am not hearing hate.
I am not hearing have a temper tantrum and try to change an outcome.
Just Release
I am not deleting.
I am not erasing.
I am not unfollowing.
Just Release
Release means to: allow something to move, act, or flow freely.
Release
Release means to let go.
To release is healthy.
Release brings freedom.
Maybe, like me, you are sitting in a familiar place, maybe your situation is new, or maybe you have had it as long as my family has had our lovely Chesterfield sofa. If we hold on to people, things, situations, or mindsets, we are just holding onto that which is not ours to control. And in the tight grip of holding on, we are missing what could come to an outstretched hand.
Dear ones, join me in releasing any person, place, or thing
That while holding it in a grip, sorrow brings
To release,
Brings peace
Release allows us to see
What GOD’s will is for the other person;
But most importantly, for me
I could use more peace
So LORD, please help me to release
Release me to see
Release me to be free
Release me from worries or cares
From wondering about others concerns or cares
Release me to peace
Release me so that all strivings cease
I value peace
Help me release maybe even good things
So that my heart may fully and completely sing
I want no one, no way, no thing
To offset my kingdom offering
Eternity is so much more
Than this earthly store
Let me have an eternal view
And release all in my grasp to YOU
*Pictures taken after an appointment today, enjoying the Pink Velour Crape Myrtle blooms.
