Sunday was the anniversary of my father’s death. It had been two years… All the memories associated with the day seemed to resurface days before the actual anniversary. I found myself missing my dad; but also replaying the events of the day: remembering everything we did that day and the details of minutia about him and what was said and done on August was 6th, 2015.
For two years before my dad went to live with JESUS, Dad lived in our home and we cared for him. Hospice had been serving him here at our home for about nine months. When my father was 45, he had a severe stroke that left him weak on his left side. My mother cared for him until she passed; and he was able to gain a sense of independence thanks to her planning for him and the LORD’s great grace. However, as the years progressed, his balance became worse and the need for him to live with my brother (who lived in the same town as my dad) became evident. When my brother and his family could no longer care for him, The Salesman welcomed my dad into our home. The timing seemed perfect. Victoria had just entered college… Dad was a great patient; but the care was demanding and I have a whole new respect for caregivers. The years he was with us were full and busy and challenging. However, his earthly journey ended and a new life began for him on August 6, 2015, not long after breakfast, while he was sipping his coffee. It was as if he took one sip of coffee and then a sip of eternity. GOD was so gracious. My dad’s body was tired.
It was my second experience with being the first to notice that someone dear to me had departed their earthly body. I will not forget the experiences.
This year, the date fell on Sunday and while I was getting ready for church, I found myself in methodical memories and missing him much. The morning seemed a blur to me two years ago; but the details and the heartache seemed and seem so real.
While churning the thoughts and memories in my mind, I felt the LORD speak to me and grabbed my pen and journal and wrote this down while drying my hair:
There is A Power, A Source,
That steadies me on life’s course.
As I navigate the good and bad,
The happy and oh, so sad.
I struggle with the memories attached to this day:
So many haunt me, in various ways.
Can I let go and have peace
And feel my Savior’s sweet release?
Will I allow HIM to turn my mourning to dance,
Or will the sad, I relive and enhance?
Sorrow comes knocking at my door,
I will not answer any more.
I’m putting my dancing shoes on,
My ears attune to a new song.
Hallelujah!
I’m totally believing that GOD can bring me victoriously through this process of grieving and help me hold on to HIM and all the good memories I have of my dad.
I'm so sorry for your loss. My husband lost both of his parents in the span of 2 years. He found his mom after she had passed from a brain aneurism. My daughter was alone with her for a sleepover and tried to wake her up. ;( His dad died 2 years previously while my husband performed CPR at the hospital and brought him back several times but it was just his time to go. I know the memories ache in our hearts as we long to see them again. May God bring you peace and comfort when you miss your dad.